I was searching for a Notebook earlier tonight to do some sketches or just write whatever as I still do, when finally finding one, it welcomed me from the front page with a ‘2013 wish list`, written by me, probably even before the 2013 had started off. I dare say now, perhaps a bit too much zeal?
Here are the first 10 things on the list : courage, diligence, perseverance, commitment, desire to fight, learn how to be a disciple, humble myself,abide in God, save money ( quite an interesting choice of order, Andrea!), talk to my family.
The fact that after not longer than half a year from having written that, I find myself amazed at what I`m reading, says much about my pursuit of the things listed. Nevertheless, Someone must have listened to my hearts desire and began working those things in my life.
This post is for you my friends, who I`ve profoundly neglected throughout this year. I promise you all, I have on my Bookshelf a list with all the People I´m ought to write to, and so far I.ve numbered over 30 of you, who have been waiting and waiting and waiting for me to write. So, I´m truly sorry for not pushing myself harder to keeping in touch, tho I have to admit I´m very excited to have had found time to blog tonight and yes, less personal, but still find the way to reach you!
This year I´ve started applying for further education, and that alone in itself took not just a bunch of time and energy from me, but indeed, courage, diligence, perseverance, commitment, desire to fight, even when Feeling like puking. Places I´ve looked up into reach the US, Canada, Israel, UK, and all over Europe. I have to say that after all the fuss my first Option would still be Austria, firstly because Austria became my comfort Zone and then because there’s a Jewish School I´ve applied to. I´ll know more of it by the end of this month, but after all, God has His design for my journey, and I’ve promised Him Long ago I´ll go wherever, if we stick together.
One of the Highlights of this year is most def. iCafe. Every Saturday morning for 4 months I woke up with so much excitement because I knew People will feel Gods love that day, and seeing that with your own eyes, while having the privilege to be part of the process goes beyond my simple words. Explosion of joy, pureness of heart, questions, laughter, hope, new life, paint a wonderful story for me when I think of it. For sure, I´ll come with a post later and explain what is all this Hippie talk about.
My family here has been YAG for about 3 years now and I guess if it weren’t for God challenging me to `hang on just a little bit longer` the perseverance and commitment had not have kicked in or else I find no human reasoning for me still being part of it. It´s been hard, and its no ones fault. Thats life. Gets hard, and you push yourself until you can´t push no more, and then God pushes for you and on and on it goes until it gets easy again. I found myself extremely challenged within myself just because when I love someone it hurts so much I have to stay away, just Keep away, and with this bunch of People, I had to put up with my stupid pain and be there. Maybe God worked humility and taught me something about being a disciple that stank so bad.
Talking to my Family part has been still a challenge. Haven´t talked to my older brother in way to Long but when I was home 2 months ago I had a great time with my parents and I hardly ever tell them whats going on, but I broke down and it was good and healthy and just having them pray over me was priceless. I´ve been not talking to them recently because I´m not doing that good physically and will be needing to go home for Operation, but I´m organising our retreat in the mountains so how could I just go home? I have a lump. SO I Need to go and take that out and all that jazz. Don´t know much Details, just that its growing and I can feel that. Knowing my mom would stop sleeping until she hears the final results I decided not to tell yet so I.m nowhere to be found when she tries to talk to me. Not so much fun.
It´s past 2 am so I.ll bring this to a Close. Do pray for me and send me beautiful music. It always does me good.